Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.

(612): View more from Minnesota

May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.

(281): View more from Texas

i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.

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(516): View more from New York

woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.

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