Don't you send me to vm
If i come over, it means nothing
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
