I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
