Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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