You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
