Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
