I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
