what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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