The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
