Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
