This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
