oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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