If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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