searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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