Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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