alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
