Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
