You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The beer is more important than you right now.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
