Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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