I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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