she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
