I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i think i just lost a toe
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
