Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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