if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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