its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
