I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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