Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
