...so i touched it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You ruined the universe
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
