Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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