this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
