There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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