he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
