so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
