Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
