how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
being pregnant is like rehab
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
