I think my vagina is haunted
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
