i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
