You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
