You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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