i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
