I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
