It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Randomize
