Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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