a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
should my penis look like a turkey
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
