you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
