oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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