OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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