at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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