I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize