She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
