I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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