I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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