12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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