the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
