i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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