this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
