so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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