Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
