so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
