I hope mine doesn't look like that
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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