no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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