i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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