Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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