before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
