i just wanna soil my oats bro
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize