I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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