ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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