Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
