i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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