did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize