Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
