Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize